Dreamscarred Press RPG Products Forums General Discussion Playtesting [Submission]Two New Martial Disciplines

Viewing 10 posts - 1 through 10 (of 10 total)
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  • TheMalfeasantBladesman
    Participant
    Post count: 57
    #41019 |

    What can I say? I’m a guy who likes funky fighting styles.

    Presented below are two new martial disciplines that cover styles of Combat that I haven’t seen fully utilized by existing disciplines. Lead Hyena, a discipline focusing on extraordinary debuffing and control, and Brutal Crocodile, a discipline dedicated to grappling. Alongside both I have a set of feats for each discipline alongside a new initiating Antipaladin Archetype, the Bloodmaven.

    I hope you enjoy
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fa7DjXlYWJql4fQVbEPMbJ3PUxc49_jl5HJByGvxA0c/edit
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E9iFDu8I2_n5F9EcZYB8Tkljf8ohKnfoa7eJHJ2M_tI/edit

    As always, input is appreciated

    Tevolria
    Participant
    Post count: 184

    Now we just need a dedicated underwater Martial Discipline (preferably drawing from Cerulean Seas, because those plunge weapons and whatnot) and a dedicated aerial Martial Discipline… If only they weren’t so niche. though i guess anyone who loves cerulean seas would definitely be interested.

    Jade Ripley
    Moderator
    Post count: 28

    What can I say? I’m a guy who likes funky fighting styles.

    Presented below are two new martial disciplines that cover styles of Combat that I haven’t seen fully utilized by existing disciplines. Lead Hyena, a discipline focusing on extraordinary debuffing and control, and Brutal Crocodile, a discipline dedicated to grappling. Alongside both I have a set of feats for each discipline alongside a new initiating Antipaladin Archetype, the Bloodmaven.

    I hope you enjoy
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fa7DjXlYWJql4fQVbEPMbJ3PUxc49_jl5HJByGvxA0c/edit
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E9iFDu8I2_n5F9EcZYB8Tkljf8ohKnfoa7eJHJ2M_tI/edit

    As always, input is appreciated

    …Alright Bladesman, we keep dancing this dance. Maybe it’s time I changed the tune.

    You submit a lot of material. You may have noticed that the team’s been interested in none of it thus far. Your persistence in the matter is actually fairly flattering, but continuing to come in and shoot things down kinda makes me feel like the bad guy. So let’s try and make this one a learning experience, aye? Because the thing is, there’s this fairly wide gulf between homebrew and a submission, in that the latter is implied to be something you desire to publish, maybe even believe is ready to publish. It has to be able to meet standards not just of quality, but of scope and concept.

    So let’s open up our learning experience with a question: where did you go wrong in the concept of these two disciplines? What is it at the drawing board that should have been your red flag?

    Tevolria
    Participant
    Post count: 184

    What can I say? I’m a guy who likes funky fighting styles.

    Presented below are two new martial disciplines that cover styles of Combat that I haven’t seen fully utilized by existing disciplines. Lead Hyena, a discipline focusing on extraordinary debuffing and control, and Brutal Crocodile, a discipline dedicated to grappling. Alongside both I have a set of feats for each discipline alongside a new initiating Antipaladin Archetype, the Bloodmaven.

    I hope you enjoy
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fa7DjXlYWJql4fQVbEPMbJ3PUxc49_jl5HJByGvxA0c/edit
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E9iFDu8I2_n5F9EcZYB8Tkljf8ohKnfoa7eJHJ2M_tI/edit

    As always, input is appreciated

    …Alright Bladesman, we keep dancing this dance. Maybe it’s time I changed the tune.

    You submit a lot of material. You may have noticed that the team’s been interested in none of it thus far. Your persistence in the matter is actually fairly flattering, but continuing to come in and shoot things down kinda makes me feel like the bad guy. So let’s try and make this one a learning experience, aye? Because the thing is, there’s this fairly wide gulf between homebrew and a submission, in that the latter is implied to be something you desire to publish, maybe even believe is ready to publish. It has to be able to meet standards not just of quality, but of scope and concept.

    So let’s open up our learning experience with a question: where did you go wrong in the concept of these two disciplines? What is it at the drawing board that should have been your red flag?

    Try not to hate me for this.
    Not to jump in the middle or anything (but I will anyway): I think the only flaw was choosing to post here first instead of getting feedback from a more active forum. Because lets be honest, this site’s forums are barely active to the point of almost being a waste. Not your fault by the way, it just happens. Imagine what these two disciplines would look like with actual feedback!
    to bladesman: I, for one, really like a lot of what you make. That arcforge stuff was super cool (particularly the soulknife stuff). These two disciplines didn’t resonate with me personally, but I got some specific niche things I have been keeping an eye out for (and will likely never see, so maybe in a few weeks it’ll resonate).

    Jade Ripley
    Moderator
    Post count: 28

    What can I say? I’m a guy who likes funky fighting styles.

    Presented below are two new martial disciplines that cover styles of Combat that I haven’t seen fully utilized by existing disciplines. Lead Hyena, a discipline focusing on extraordinary debuffing and control, and Brutal Crocodile, a discipline dedicated to grappling. Alongside both I have a set of feats for each discipline alongside a new initiating Antipaladin Archetype, the Bloodmaven.

    I hope you enjoy
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fa7DjXlYWJql4fQVbEPMbJ3PUxc49_jl5HJByGvxA0c/edit
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E9iFDu8I2_n5F9EcZYB8Tkljf8ohKnfoa7eJHJ2M_tI/edit

    As always, input is appreciated

    …Alright Bladesman, we keep dancing this dance. Maybe it’s time I changed the tune.

    You submit a lot of material. You may have noticed that the team’s been interested in none of it thus far. Your persistence in the matter is actually fairly flattering, but continuing to come in and shoot things down kinda makes me feel like the bad guy. So let’s try and make this one a learning experience, aye? Because the thing is, there’s this fairly wide gulf between homebrew and a submission, in that the latter is implied to be something you desire to publish, maybe even believe is ready to publish. It has to be able to meet standards not just of quality, but of scope and concept.

    So let’s open up our learning experience with a question: where did you go wrong in the concept of these two disciplines? What is it at the drawing board that should have been your red flag?

    Try not to hate me for this.
    Not to jump in the middle or anything (but I will anyway): I think the only flaw was choosing to post here first instead of getting feedback from a more active forum. Because lets be honest, this site’s forums are barely active to the point of almost being a waste. Not your fault by the way, it just happens. Imagine what these two disciplines would look like with actual feedback!
    to bladesman: I, for one, really like a lot of what you make. That arcforge stuff was super cool (particularly the soulknife stuff). These two disciplines didn’t resonate with me personally, but I got some specific niche things I have been keeping an eye out for (and will likely never see, so maybe in a few weeks it’ll resonate).

    The immediate leap into submission is one of the difficulties, yes. It is not the only one.

    rodoco
    Participant
    Post count: 1

    Doesn’t Fool’s Errand cover grappling AND control rather admirably? We’ve also got a lot of debuffing in other Disciplines already. Not sure there’s really a need for these Disciplines.

    (That said, niche Disciplines like an underwater one and an aerial one do sound nice, especially paired with Elemental Flux that has a lot of options for flight and swimming.)

    Patrick Kelley
    Participant
    Post count: 24

    I guess they are both over specialized, also they both revolve around a mechanic and not a theme. Don’t hate though, I didn’t actually look at the disciplines.

    papermonkeylord
    Participant
    Post count: 5

    What can I say? I’m a guy who likes funky fighting styles.

    Presented below are two new martial disciplines that cover styles of Combat that I haven’t seen fully utilized by existing disciplines. Lead Hyena, a discipline focusing on extraordinary debuffing and control, and Brutal Crocodile, a discipline dedicated to grappling. Alongside both I have a set of feats for each discipline alongside a new initiating Antipaladin Archetype, the Bloodmaven.

    I hope you enjoy
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fa7DjXlYWJql4fQVbEPMbJ3PUxc49_jl5HJByGvxA0c/edit
    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1E9iFDu8I2_n5F9EcZYB8Tkljf8ohKnfoa7eJHJ2M_tI/edit

    As always, input is appreciated

    …Alright Bladesman, we keep dancing this dance. Maybe it’s time I changed the tune.

    You submit a lot of material. You may have noticed that the team’s been interested in none of it thus far. Your persistence in the matter is actually fairly flattering, but continuing to come in and shoot things down kinda makes me feel like the bad guy. So let’s try and make this one a learning experience, aye? Because the thing is, there’s this fairly wide gulf between homebrew and a submission, in that the latter is implied to be something you desire to publish, maybe even believe is ready to publish. It has to be able to meet standards not just of quality, but of scope and concept.

    So let’s open up our learning experience with a question: where did you go wrong in the concept of these two disciplines? What is it at the drawing board that should have been your red flag?

    Could you be any more of a dick?

    LazerGuidedCthulhu
    Participant
    Post count: 16

    If you want your submissions to do more than sink unnoticed and unmourned to the bottom of the forum Jade Ripley is making some good, helpful points. No reason to shoot the messenger.

    Robin MacLachlan
    Participant
    Post count: 11

    Also, if you have ideas that you just need to get out there, they don’t have to be “official”. Nothing is stopping you from putting them up on a busier forum and/or personal site as homebrew, or even from connecting with another publisher to do a POW-compatible supplement.

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